Three million clichés and counting

Archive for December, 2007

How To Cook Bacon...
(Bacony Jones)

From the Non-Sequitur Dept.

Mmmmmmmmmmm bacon... Luckily, there is a simple process to cook it...



bacon cook flowchart pan hungry pants crispy dog

What Would YouTube Say?
(I'll Wait For the Movie Jones)

From the Truth-Is-Stranger-Than-Fiction Dept.

People say working the late shift is slow and boring... And for Dustin Hoffmann (No, not that one - this one has 2 n's), who works at the Dunkin Donuts in Elmwood Park, New Jersey, it usually is... Except for this last Monday...

A guy came in and ordered a blueberry cake doughnut - normal enough... He also paid with cash... But when Dustin went to give him his change, the guy started grabbing money out of the cash drawer! Dunkin's was being robbed!

Did Dustin fear for his life? No... Did he worry about the money being stolen? Not exactly... What did he fear? YouTube!

"What was going through my mind at this point was that the security tape is either going to show me run away and hide in the office or whack this guy in the head. So I just grabbed the cup and clocked the guy pretty hard", Dunkin said... And it mostly worked: the guy only got away with $290 but left his hat behind with enough DNA to convict him when he's caught...

And the security tape? Police are still converting the tape to a digital format, but once it's available, Dustin says he'll upload it to YouTube himself... "There are only a few videos like that on YouTube now, so mine's going to be the best," Hoffmann said.... "That’ll teach this guy!"

The Top 10
(#1 Jones)

From the Interesting-News-Stories Dept.

David Letterman is famous for his top 10 list every night on the Late Show... Ever wonder why? And almost every news show or magazine puts out a top 10 list every once and a while... Why? What is it about Top 10 lists that makes everyone keep using or reading them?

Someone decided to ask psychology professor Dr. Monica Basco at the University of Arlington... And naturally, he gave the top 10 reasons why:

  1. Lists Organize Items In A Social Way - Sometimes it is confirmation of public opinion, sometimes it drives public opinion (helping to determine what to buy or where to buy it)...
  2. Lists Allow Love It Or Leave It Decisions - If people don't agree with each choice, they tend to ignore it, only remembering the ones that apply to them...
  3. Lists Give Guidelines - People know exactly how long the article will be, and the subject matter is constrained to one specific subject... No big surprises...
  4. Lists Inspire Discovery Of Other Listed Items - You may only know one or two items on the list, but seeing the others encourages you to visit, try, watch or listen to one or more of the others...
  5. Lists Provide Topics For Discussion - the American Film Institute lists this as a primary reason for every list they make... Doesn't matter whether you agree with the list or not, every list promotes conversation (or leaving comments on a web site)...
  6. Lists Provide Arbitrary Ranks - Every list has a bottom (10) and a top (1)... People like hierarchy and order - Top 10 lists provide that...
  7. Lists Give The Impression Of A Survey - Even though many lists are created by editors, computers, or whatever, people like the idea that qualitative lists like "most popular" or "most liked" could be or were created by a group of people such as themselve...
  8. Lists Give The Impression Of Credibility - Putting items in a Top 10 implies they are the best of whatever the list is about... Sometimes that is true, sometime not... But the implication is there...
  9. Lists Provide Commonality - A good list will share a certain commonality between everything on it... As long as nothing seems out of place, the list gains a better sense of credibility...
  10. Lists Require Little Effort On The Reader - Lists are simple... Quick and easy to read, they take a lot of info and summarize it in a way normal prose could not...


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